


regrets

by kfcspork



Category: New Dangan Ronpa V3: Everyone's New Semester of Killing
Genre: Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, M/M, New Dangan Ronpa V3 Spoilers, Nightmares
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-01
Updated: 2021-02-01
Packaged: 2021-03-12 00:28:20
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 919
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29126487
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kfcspork/pseuds/kfcspork
Summary: no one really talks about how hard it is to be a fucking danganronpa protag other than that part with makoto in the anime, so i decided to write about that with shuichiTW// shuichi deals with mental illness stuff.also sorry i probably didnt tag this properlyNOR DID I KNOW HOW TO TITLE IT LMAO IDK HOW TO TITLE STUFF
Relationships: Oma Kokichi/Saihara Shuichi
Comments: 1
Kudos: 33





	regrets

**Author's Note:**

> *dances* saiouma angst!! this isnt very well written but thats okay. this shit made me cry while i was writing it LMAO
> 
> again feel free to leave feedback (:

It's been almost a four days since I've left my room.

It feels like there's a weight on my back from all that's happened, and its only getting heavier with each trial. I wish this all could just end so I wouldn't have to deal with the burden of having to decide upon one of my friend's lives every time, even if they ARE a killer. These are all people I've come to trust and care about, and I'm powerless as I watch them all get picked off one by one. 

The dead faces of my friends flash through my mind. I resist the urge to vomit.

Swallowing and laying my head back on my pillow, I stare up at the dark room I'm in. Kaede's words to me echo through my mind.

"Shuichi, you better not lose. You can't lose to this killing game! I know you can beat it! I believe in you guys! So please, believe in yourself! Okay? It's a promise."

Sitting up, I dug the heels of my hands into my eyes.

"I'm so sorry K-Kaede, you," A sob ripped itself out of my throat. "You shouldn't h-have put your trust in me, I, I can't do anything...I can't do a-anything! I can't- I cant help! I'm useless, I'm fucking useless! Why did I ever think I could-" Voice cracking, hands in my hair, all I could do tremble as sobs rocked my entire body. "Everyone's," My voice got quieter as I curled into myself. "Everyone is dead because of me. It's all my fault, I can only help once someone is already fucking dead! My skills are useless any other time. I can't help. I can't save anyone."

Crying into my knees, I gripped my hair. I trembled as I felt like my world was collapsing around me. No way out, nowhere to go, trapped. Darker and darker, my head felt like it was spinning-

Suddenly the door to my room burst open. The bright light felt like fire to my eyes.

"W-Wha?!" I shielded my eyes from the light, confused.

"Shumai!" A voice giggled, walking into my room and shutting the door behind them.

I recognized the voice immediately. 

"K-Kokichi! I-" I hurriedly tried to wipe my eyes and face. "What are you doing in here?" I cringed at how small my voice sounded. Kokichi walked over to the side of the room and flipped on one of the smaller lamps. The room lit up a little. Almost feeling exposed even with the small amount of light, I buried my face in my legs. 

I could hear him walking over to me. "I was worried about you silly. You haven't left your room in days! You're gonna turn into a hermit if you're not careful." The bed sunk down a little as he sat down near me. "Hey." He said softly, laying a hand on my leg. "Can you look at me?"

Shaking a little, I slowly looked up to meet his eyes.

"There." He smiled. "See? It's me." Grabbing my hand, he gently held it as he placed it on his chest. "Feel that?" I took a shaky breath as I felt the gentle beat of a heart. "My heart. I'm STILL HERE, Shuichi. And I don't give a fuck what happens, I'm still going to be here. I'm not leaving you. I promise."

I choked back a sob as my hand gripped Kokichi's shirt. I stared at him with watery eyes, and he smiled. Kokichi leaned forward, grabbing me and holding me in a tight hug.

I cried into his chest, cries escaping my mouth as I held onto him like a lifeline.

In fact, I'd say he was.

He kissed the top of my head and whispered in my ear, "I love you so, so much." I could barely respond, sobs still shaking my body.

"K-Kokichi I-" I stopped as I heard him giggle.

"Although," His hand roughly gripped my face, jerking it up to look at him. "That's a lie isn't it?"

His eyes were black.

"Didn't I just end up as another person you couldn't protect? Huh, Shumai? Right? Right? Right? Right? Ri-" I cried out as I tried to move away from him.

"Kokichi! S-Stop I-"

"WHAT?!" He yelled, laughing in my face. "Do you want me to LIE? I thought you said I should tell the TRUTH, Shuichi! Well GUESS WHAT!" He leaned closer to my face, a terrifying smile on his face. "I'M FUCKING DEAD! I DIED! I GOT CRUSHED UNDER THAT FUCKING HYDRAULIC PRESS! WHY DON'T YOU PRY IT OPEN AND TAKE A LOOK UNDER! MAYBE THERE'S SOME SCRAP OF ME YOU CAN SALVAGE!" His laugh seemed like it never ended. "Or better yet, why not just join me under there, huh? It's not like its anything you don't deserve. After all,"

"You're the reason I'm dead."

I screamed and sat up in bed, clutching my chest. Tears were streaming down my face. Those words were still echoing in my mind. My head felt like it was spinning, faster and faster, I couldn't breathe despite how fast I was trying, my vision was getting darker.

I screamed, pulling on my hair as I shook. 

Flashes of dead bodies.

Blood under a hydraulic press.

"NO! NO PLEASE, I-"

"I'm STILL HERE, Shuichi. And I don't give a fuck what happens, I'm still going to be here. I'm not leaving you. I promise."

"K-Kokichi you," I stared up at the dark ceiling.

"You lied."

**Author's Note:**

> <3 sorry for the pain


End file.
